I've come to the conclusion

I've come to the conclusion that my body does not want to shed the last of the baby weight. I think it has to do with nursing. Maybe this sounds crazy, or like an excuse, but honestly it isn't. I've lost all but about 15lbs of the baby weight I gained with G (which was over 50lbs - bleh). A lot of it came off easliy, then more came off with some work. Now I've been busting my butt to lose the last of it and I can't seem to lose another pound. I think my body wants to hold onto this last bit of weight while I'm nursing - just in case weight, I guess.

I started keeping a food log and keeping my caloric intake at about 1900-2000 calories per day. When I lost weight before my second pregnancy, I did the same thing, only I was eating less - about 1650 calories per day. I don't feel comfortable going that low now, but I figured I would be able to lose the last of the weight if I really stuck with the 1900-2000. I guess not. It isn't that I've been at it for months and months, but I expected to see some results, whether on the scale, how I look, or how my clothes fit. But nothing.

So I've decided I'm scrapping the food log and hopefully my semi-obsession with losing weight. I'm really sick of being on the scale-coaster, but there seems little help for it for now. However, I've accepted that at best the scale will inch downward a little until I stop nursing. And I have no clue when that will be. I have no specific plans to stop nursing at any point. I doubt I'll be nursing him when he's two, but I won't stop when he turns one - and you never know anyway. But maybe when he's a bit older and nursing less, the weight will come off more easily. I guess we'll see.

I'm frustrated that my cute summer clothes from two years ago don't fit. And, being the planner/overthinker that I am, I can't help but dread the inevitable trip up the scale again if we have another baby. And in a way, that makes me a bit less motivated to really drop the pounds now. If I'm just going to gain weight again, why bust my ass to lose it now? But then again, I'd like to be thinner when I get pregnant the next time...

So I don't know. For now, I'm going to eat well, keep working on reducing the amount of processed/refined foods we all eat, watch my carb intake and train for my triathlon. If that doesn't take the weight off, so be it. I don't hate the way I look right now anyway. My biggest whine is that I have cute clothes that don't fit, but that isn't the end of the world. I have too many other things going on to focus so much energy on weight loss. And I'm sick of it anyway.

I have to admit, it almost makes me want to give in to my husband's desire to have baby #3 sooner rather than later, just so I can get the babymaking stuff over with and get my body back in shape for good.

But then again, three little kids... yikes.