Sinking in

It's beginning to sink in that this baby is a girl. I still have that little worry in the back (and sometimes the front) of my mind that the ultrasound will prove to be wrong and we'll be surprised with a boy in about 4 months. But the chances of that aren't really *that* great, so I'm slowly but surely allowing myself to believe that we're having a daughter.

It chokes me up a little bit.

I've started buying a few things here and there - clothes, mostly. I have a good set of hand-me-downs coming from a friend, but of course I have to take advantage of having a girl for the first time and indulge in some pink. It took a lot to buy that first pink onesie. Again, there's that fear that I'm going to get all excited and into the idea of having a girl and be really disappointed if we were wrong. I think I'm probably going to carry that anxiety with me, at least a little bit, until she's born.

In any case, I went to the mall today and ended up buying several really cute things. I'm glad I've had babies before and know how I tend to like dressing a newborn/infant. There are so many outfits that are impractical and I know what types of things would end up hanging in the closet, looking darn cute on a hanger, but rarely get worn. But I did indulge in a couple of dresses that I think could be paired with some cotton pants if needed (which I also bought, in colors to match) and some onesies that say cute stuff like "Daddy's Girl." I doubt I'll bring myself to actually take any of the items out of their bags and risk losing receipts, just in case... but I have allowed myself to relax enough to enjoy some girlie shopping.

It's like a whole new world!

Too perfect?

From the moment I took that HPT right before Christmas, this pregnancy has seemed perfect. We got pregnant the instant we decided to stop birth control. We found out right at Christmas, which gave us such a great opportunity to share our news with family. I didn't need supplemental progesterone (did with the boys), all my tests have come back perfect and (at the risk of jinxing it) I'm not gaining weight as quickly. Timing wise, it's perfect because I'll get through most of the summer before baby is born, giving us lots of outside time without me having to worry about when the baby needs to sleep, nurse, be changed, etc. I'll be highly pregnant during our big family vacation this summer, but as long as things are going well, I will be able to go.

Could things get better?

We had an ultrasound yesterday. Baby looks great, measuring right on schedule with no indications of any problems whatsoever. She looks perfect. Yes, I said she.

Not only did we fail to see a penis, after a long wait while she had her legs both crossed and close together, we saw the telltale signs of girl parts. I kept thinking I was seeing girl, but the tech kept saying she couldn't see it yet, so I wasn't sure. Then we saw a great shot of her profile and my husband said, "That looks really feminine to me - not like the boys." Apparently he was right. I know ultrasounds are never 100% accurate at gender prediction, but when my dad asked the tech "are you sure?" she said, "Well, ultrasounds are never 100%, but this is a girl."

OMG!

I have to admit, I really wanted it to be a girl. I would have been really happy to have another boy, but a girl - well, it just makes everything so perfect. I'm almost afraid to believe it, not wanting to get my hopes so high and then find out the tech was wrong. I doubt it, but it certainly can happen. But as things stand, it looks like we're going to have a daughter.

This pregnancy has been so much more than I ever could have asked for. Could it really be this perfect? The perfect end to our fertility journey, the perfect addition to our family?

Apparently sometimes we do get THAT lucky.

The hazards of having a big boy

I've lamented more than once about the difficulties of having a baby/toddler who is big. G is a big boy. Not freakishly huge, but he's been above the 90th percentiles for height and weight since he was about 6 weeks old. He outgrew the baby bjorn so quickly I was glad I'd decided to buy a sling; it was the only way I could carry him around without killing my back and shoulders. And as he got older, he kept getting bigger! There are 2 1/2 years between my boys, yet for about the last year there has only been 4-5lbs between them. Yes, D is still the heavier one, but G keeps trying to close the gap.

Now I'm pregnant and G still wants to be picked up and carried, often up the stairs. I still have to lift him into his carseat. He weighs somewhere between 30-31lbs, which is certainly not the heaviest almost-2 year old, but he's heavy enough to make my back ache. Over the last few days I've been wondering why my back is starting to hurt and today made me realize exactly why - I still have to lift this brick of a kid.

Today was particularly tiring on my pregnant body. I'm not sure what it was; perhaps that every time I tried to sit down, one of them needed something. Perhaps it was the number of times we went up and down the stairs. Perhaps it was our trip to McDonald's for dinner (since Daddy is working late) and the amount of that time I had to spend on my feet, chasing after G in particular. But my back is so tired and I'm looking at a long night at the computer since I have work to catch up on. Ouch.

I need to keep doing yoga. And convince G to walk up the stairs on his own more often.

I love spring

On April 1st it snowed. It doesn't snow here every winter, let alone in April, so that was a surprise. There wasn't much, but it was super cold. At the gym a bunch of us were joking that our April Fool's Day joke was that spring had arrived - not so much!

By Saturday, spring decided to show.

We've had such great weather for the last several days and I was DYING for it. I expect March to be yucky around here, but even so, I've been craving sunshine and at least a little warmth. The last several days have been great. We've been outside in the backyard in t-shirts, the boys running around and getting nice and dirty. Last week I was feeling such cabin fever, so this burst of spring has been good for my soul.

Good times.