Random thoughts

I'll be 33 weeks in a couple of days. As far as stuff goes, I'm feeling pretty prepared. I got a great set of hand-me-downs from a friend - seriously some of the best hand-me-down baby stuff I've ever seen! I always had a lot of stuff for the boys from another friend, but by the time it got to me it had been through her two boys and their cousin, so a lot of it was really worn. This stuff is all practically brand new, and most of it Gymboree. Can't complain about that! So even though I'm starting from scratch in the clothes department, between the handful of things I've picked up and the stuff my friend gave me, I'm more or less set.

As far as having the baby goes, I suppose I'm as prepared as I'll ever be. I know it's going to be challenging having a newborn again, especially with the boys. D will be helpful for the most part, and he's largely self-sufficient (four is a great age), but G is still firmly entrenched in the terrible twos and I don't expect him to emerge anytime soon. It's going to be busy, tiring and sometimes downright overwhelming, I'm sure. But I know the newborn stage won't last forever and we'll all come out ok on the other side. I'm going to need reminding of that now and then...

I saw my grandmother yesterday, which was nice. Like most people, she asked about names, and although we actually think we know what we're naming her (not 100% sure), we're not telling and I've been deflecting the question lately by saying we simply haven't decided and then changing the subject. Partly I want it to be something of a surprise and partly I just don't feel like discussing our name choices. In any case, she brought it up and I could tell she did so because she'd heard one of the names we're considering and felt she needed to tell me that her neice, my dad's cousin, has a daughter with that name. And she phrased it with, "But there's already one in the family." So? I honestly don't know if I've ever met my dad's cousin in my entire life. Maybe once - I remember meeting her sister, but I'm not sure if she was there at the time. I know who she is, I know her parents fairly well, but she's not what I would consider close family by any stretch. Anyway, I just thought it was weird that my grandma figured we'd throw out a name just because some obscure family member who we never see used it. I seriously couldn't care less what my dad's cousin's kids are named, but I didn't want to sound too harsh about it. See, this is why I don't want to discuss names with others - I so don't want all the opinions and "I knew someone with that name and they were such a bitch..." and "But so and so's cousin's sister's former roommate named her kid that..." Blah, blah, blah. Like I care.

Horomonal much? Sorry.

With just over 7 weeks to go, I'm wondering more and more what this baby looks like, and I have to be honest, I'm still wondering if she's really a girl. The little nugget of doubt in my mind is so annoying, but I don't know if I'll relax about it until she's here. Maybe if we get a good look at our next ultrasound in a few weeks (my doc will do a quick one to check her position), but I know I'm going to be nervous that we'll see a penis. I am so excited at the prospect of actually having a daughter, I don't want it to be taken away from me. But I think about other things too - will she look like her brothers? Will she be darker skinned like Daddy and D, or lighter skinned like me and G? Will she also have brown eyes, like her brothers do or will she be the one to confirm hubby has a recessive gene? (He theoretically could, since both his parents are dominant/recessive, but he might be dominant/dominant, in which case any child he ever had would be brown eyed). Will she be active or mellow? Will she sleep? Oh please oh please let this one be a good sleeper....

Not much time left and with so much going on from week to week, I have a feeling the next month and a half is going to fly by as quickly as the last several months have. I'm going to be having this baby before I know it!