Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Coming up for air

Over the holiday weekend I quite literally lost myself in the Twilight series. The books were far better than I'd imagined. I was completely sucked in finished all four books in four days. Although my house is still recovering, my husband was a great sport and helped out a lot so I could disappear into the expanse of my imagination for a while.

I haven't let myself go into a book like that in quite some time - probably since before I had kids. The allure of a good story, of feeling like I'm half living in that world, is almost like a drug to me. I love the sensation of letting my imagination run free, of living in a world that isn't my own. Its why I've always loved reading fantasy novels - I love being caught up in a world where anything is possible.

It isn't just the story in the book that gets me though. Reading something that sucks me in so completely triggers so much in my own mind - ideas, characters, plotlines, possibilities. Its why I started attempting to write fiction in the first place. I can get just as lost writing my own stories as I can reading the works of others.

I haven't written much of anything fictional in a long time now. When I was pregnant with my first son I found that my creativity ground to a halt, like my creative energy was being used up and I didn't have anything left when I sat down at my keyboard. And so things have sat, untouched, for a long time. But I feel like losing myself in a story once again has reopened the door to my creativity. I remember the reason I love to write, the reason I want to write an honest to goodness novel someday. Its what I'm passionate about. I can write to make money, as I do, and it's fine. But there's no passion behind it. Creating a story, one that allows me to live in my imagination for a while, is what really gets me going. And for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling like it might be possible to get to that place again. Maybe I'll actually finish...

In the meantime, I feel like I'm coming up for air after a long submersion. I'm blinking in the sunlight of reality. Although it's a great reality, it's been a little harder than I remember to get back into the swing of my real life. But I think I can manage.

No comments: