Friday, March 6, 2009

Feeling pregnant

I'm genuinely feeling pregnant these days, and not just from nausea and fatigue. My belly isn't "big" yet at all - but it has reached the point of being big enough that I'm noticing it. I'm sure the casual observer wouldn't realize I'm pregnant, or might wonder a bit but not dare ask for fear of being wrong. But I feel like I grew outward about an inch today. Nothing really fits - maternity clothes are too big, but my regular clothes don't fit either. It's a fun stage - sarcasm intended ;).

I may be feeling the slightest bits of movement. Hard to say, since it is quite early for that (just over 14 weeks), but I did feel D distinctly at about 16 weeks and G probably at that time or a touch earlier. So it isn't impossible. I certainly know what it feels like. But it also might still just be little intestinal twitches or air bubbles. What makes me think it could be baby is that I feel these little flutters particularly when I squish my belly in some way - like bending over or if I press on my lower abdomen with my hands. I think I might be feeling baby push back.

We heard the heartbeat for the first time last Tuesday. Wow, that's a great sound. Hearing that brought it home in a whole new way that yes, I'm actually pregnant. We're doing this again! My doctor found the heartbeat instantly - literally, doppler hit belly and sound emerged. It took him a little bit to get a good reading on the actual rate, which turned out to be 152bpm, since we were hearing my heartbeat some and he said the baby seemed to be moving around a lot.

I can't help but wonder what this baby is going to be like and I find myself thinking about the traits we saw in the boys while I was pg with each of them that seemed to carry foward into their time outside the womb. D was a kicker and a firecracker from the start. He was always moving and heck, he still is. I remember the tech at our 20 week ultrasound had trouble getting measurements because he was so active. G, on the other hand, was mellow-yellow. He did move plenty, but at our ultrasound he seemed so chill, almost like he was lying there with his head cuddled up against the placenta. He's a monster toddler right now, but he still has this underlying mellowness to his personality that I swear I could see before he was even born.

I keep telling my husband that this is going to be our "Ta da!" baby. More than once I've said I feel like this baby was knocking on our door for months before we conceived. The subject of when to try kept coming up over and over and then we finally did decide to go off birth control, and BAM! we were pregnant. It happened so fast, it feels like this baby was waiting and saying, "Come on guys, I'm ready to come into the world, let's get this started!" I knew I was pregnant so much earlier than I knew with my boys, I tested earlier than I did with them, we found the heartbeat instantly the very first try, and things seem to be moving so quickly. I'm showing earlier (which is of course because its my third, but still), and baby seems determined to keep his or herself top of mind for me.

It makes me wonder if I'm going to need to rush to the hospital because baby's trying to make a grand entrance, LOL!

We'll see how the next six-ish months go. For now, I'm feeling pretty good, trying very hard not to stress over the gender (I'm geniunely having boy feelings, for the record) and trying to decide what I need to add to my maternity wardrobe, if anything. I'll need a few things, since I'll be so pregnant during the summer, but I'm not motivated to spend a whole lot of money since I'm not planning to do this again.

In any case, time is flying and in no time I'll be out of the dreaded "looking fat, not pregnant" stage :).

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