It's beginning to sink in that this baby is a girl. I still have that little worry in the back (and sometimes the front) of my mind that the ultrasound will prove to be wrong and we'll be surprised with a boy in about 4 months. But the chances of that aren't really *that* great, so I'm slowly but surely allowing myself to believe that we're having a daughter.
It chokes me up a little bit.
I've started buying a few things here and there - clothes, mostly. I have a good set of hand-me-downs coming from a friend, but of course I have to take advantage of having a girl for the first time and indulge in some pink. It took a lot to buy that first pink onesie. Again, there's that fear that I'm going to get all excited and into the idea of having a girl and be really disappointed if we were wrong. I think I'm probably going to carry that anxiety with me, at least a little bit, until she's born.
In any case, I went to the mall today and ended up buying several really cute things. I'm glad I've had babies before and know how I tend to like dressing a newborn/infant. There are so many outfits that are impractical and I know what types of things would end up hanging in the closet, looking darn cute on a hanger, but rarely get worn. But I did indulge in a couple of dresses that I think could be paired with some cotton pants if needed (which I also bought, in colors to match) and some onesies that say cute stuff like "Daddy's Girl." I doubt I'll bring myself to actually take any of the items out of their bags and risk losing receipts, just in case... but I have allowed myself to relax enough to enjoy some girlie shopping.
It's like a whole new world!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Too perfect?
From the moment I took that HPT right before Christmas, this pregnancy has seemed perfect. We got pregnant the instant we decided to stop birth control. We found out right at Christmas, which gave us such a great opportunity to share our news with family. I didn't need supplemental progesterone (did with the boys), all my tests have come back perfect and (at the risk of jinxing it) I'm not gaining weight as quickly. Timing wise, it's perfect because I'll get through most of the summer before baby is born, giving us lots of outside time without me having to worry about when the baby needs to sleep, nurse, be changed, etc. I'll be highly pregnant during our big family vacation this summer, but as long as things are going well, I will be able to go.
Could things get better?
We had an ultrasound yesterday. Baby looks great, measuring right on schedule with no indications of any problems whatsoever. She looks perfect. Yes, I said she.
Not only did we fail to see a penis, after a long wait while she had her legs both crossed and close together, we saw the telltale signs of girl parts. I kept thinking I was seeing girl, but the tech kept saying she couldn't see it yet, so I wasn't sure. Then we saw a great shot of her profile and my husband said, "That looks really feminine to me - not like the boys." Apparently he was right. I know ultrasounds are never 100% accurate at gender prediction, but when my dad asked the tech "are you sure?" she said, "Well, ultrasounds are never 100%, but this is a girl."
OMG!
I have to admit, I really wanted it to be a girl. I would have been really happy to have another boy, but a girl - well, it just makes everything so perfect. I'm almost afraid to believe it, not wanting to get my hopes so high and then find out the tech was wrong. I doubt it, but it certainly can happen. But as things stand, it looks like we're going to have a daughter.
This pregnancy has been so much more than I ever could have asked for. Could it really be this perfect? The perfect end to our fertility journey, the perfect addition to our family?
Apparently sometimes we do get THAT lucky.
Could things get better?
We had an ultrasound yesterday. Baby looks great, measuring right on schedule with no indications of any problems whatsoever. She looks perfect. Yes, I said she.
Not only did we fail to see a penis, after a long wait while she had her legs both crossed and close together, we saw the telltale signs of girl parts. I kept thinking I was seeing girl, but the tech kept saying she couldn't see it yet, so I wasn't sure. Then we saw a great shot of her profile and my husband said, "That looks really feminine to me - not like the boys." Apparently he was right. I know ultrasounds are never 100% accurate at gender prediction, but when my dad asked the tech "are you sure?" she said, "Well, ultrasounds are never 100%, but this is a girl."
OMG!
I have to admit, I really wanted it to be a girl. I would have been really happy to have another boy, but a girl - well, it just makes everything so perfect. I'm almost afraid to believe it, not wanting to get my hopes so high and then find out the tech was wrong. I doubt it, but it certainly can happen. But as things stand, it looks like we're going to have a daughter.
This pregnancy has been so much more than I ever could have asked for. Could it really be this perfect? The perfect end to our fertility journey, the perfect addition to our family?
Apparently sometimes we do get THAT lucky.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The hazards of having a big boy
I've lamented more than once about the difficulties of having a baby/toddler who is big. G is a big boy. Not freakishly huge, but he's been above the 90th percentiles for height and weight since he was about 6 weeks old. He outgrew the baby bjorn so quickly I was glad I'd decided to buy a sling; it was the only way I could carry him around without killing my back and shoulders. And as he got older, he kept getting bigger! There are 2 1/2 years between my boys, yet for about the last year there has only been 4-5lbs between them. Yes, D is still the heavier one, but G keeps trying to close the gap.
Now I'm pregnant and G still wants to be picked up and carried, often up the stairs. I still have to lift him into his carseat. He weighs somewhere between 30-31lbs, which is certainly not the heaviest almost-2 year old, but he's heavy enough to make my back ache. Over the last few days I've been wondering why my back is starting to hurt and today made me realize exactly why - I still have to lift this brick of a kid.
Today was particularly tiring on my pregnant body. I'm not sure what it was; perhaps that every time I tried to sit down, one of them needed something. Perhaps it was the number of times we went up and down the stairs. Perhaps it was our trip to McDonald's for dinner (since Daddy is working late) and the amount of that time I had to spend on my feet, chasing after G in particular. But my back is so tired and I'm looking at a long night at the computer since I have work to catch up on. Ouch.
I need to keep doing yoga. And convince G to walk up the stairs on his own more often.
Now I'm pregnant and G still wants to be picked up and carried, often up the stairs. I still have to lift him into his carseat. He weighs somewhere between 30-31lbs, which is certainly not the heaviest almost-2 year old, but he's heavy enough to make my back ache. Over the last few days I've been wondering why my back is starting to hurt and today made me realize exactly why - I still have to lift this brick of a kid.
Today was particularly tiring on my pregnant body. I'm not sure what it was; perhaps that every time I tried to sit down, one of them needed something. Perhaps it was the number of times we went up and down the stairs. Perhaps it was our trip to McDonald's for dinner (since Daddy is working late) and the amount of that time I had to spend on my feet, chasing after G in particular. But my back is so tired and I'm looking at a long night at the computer since I have work to catch up on. Ouch.
I need to keep doing yoga. And convince G to walk up the stairs on his own more often.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I love spring
On April 1st it snowed. It doesn't snow here every winter, let alone in April, so that was a surprise. There wasn't much, but it was super cold. At the gym a bunch of us were joking that our April Fool's Day joke was that spring had arrived - not so much!
By Saturday, spring decided to show.
We've had such great weather for the last several days and I was DYING for it. I expect March to be yucky around here, but even so, I've been craving sunshine and at least a little warmth. The last several days have been great. We've been outside in the backyard in t-shirts, the boys running around and getting nice and dirty. Last week I was feeling such cabin fever, so this burst of spring has been good for my soul.
Good times.
By Saturday, spring decided to show.
We've had such great weather for the last several days and I was DYING for it. I expect March to be yucky around here, but even so, I've been craving sunshine and at least a little warmth. The last several days have been great. We've been outside in the backyard in t-shirts, the boys running around and getting nice and dirty. Last week I was feeling such cabin fever, so this burst of spring has been good for my soul.
Good times.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Feeling cold
I think the biggest difference between this pregnancy and my previous two is that, not only am I not roasting hot all the time, I'm actually cold.
With D, I was a furnace - especially my feet. My feet were so hot I quite literally wore flip flops and sandals until after he was born... and he was born in December. I remember the people I worked with thinking I was crazy for coming to work in my sandals, but my feet were so hot, I couldn't stand to wear full shoes, let alone socks.
With G it wasn't nearly as intense, but I was still warmer most of the time. I bought one maternity sweater because I thought it was too cute to pass up (he was born in May, so I was pg through the winter), but I think I only wore it a couple of times because I was always too warm for it.
This time, I'm actually cold sometimes. I've been wearing socks at home all the time because my feet feel chilly. It's particularly strange because since having my boys, I've felt like my body stayed hotter, even once my pregnancies were over. I have this stack of old sweaters I used to wear to work in the winter and I haven't touched them - and not because I don't have to dress up for work now, but because I couldn't fathom wearing a sweater without dying of heat stroke! But here I am, pregnant and expecting to feel warmer still, and I'm curling up in blankets on the couch and wearing socks with slippers over the top! It isn't as if the temperature in my house has changed - for whatever reason, I'm just feeling cooler this time.
Other than that, I can't point to anything that is starkly new or different with this pregnancy, at least at this point. My first two pregnancies felt like polar opposites (which is ironic, because my boys personalities are completely opposite). If I had a symptom with D, I probably didn't with G; if I didn't have a symptom with D, I probably did with G. Not entirely true, but in many ways that's how it felt. I was totally convinced I was not pregnant with G because I figured I'd feel the same way I felt in early pregnancy the first time - and I sure didn't. But this time, some of it is familiar, some not as much (like being cold), but it doesn't feel so dramatically different from my other two experiences.
I had a doctor appointment this morning (I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow) and so far all is well. My blood pressure was almost low (but still fine), our results from the quad screen came back normal, baby's heart rate was 154. I also haven't gained too much weight at this point, which is nice. I'm up 10lbs or so, which is great for this point in my pregnancy. I think I gained more than that during the first 12 weeks with both my previous pregnancies, so I hope that's a good sign. I'd love to gain a more reasonable amount of weight this time around. But I am proud to say I haven't been stressing about it - just trying to keep from overeating. I've realized that I don't have to eat every single time I get a little hungry - it's ok to be a bit hungry between meals/snacks because I know I'll eat again soon and I know I'm eating plenty.
In any case, so far so good, and that makes me happy!
With D, I was a furnace - especially my feet. My feet were so hot I quite literally wore flip flops and sandals until after he was born... and he was born in December. I remember the people I worked with thinking I was crazy for coming to work in my sandals, but my feet were so hot, I couldn't stand to wear full shoes, let alone socks.
With G it wasn't nearly as intense, but I was still warmer most of the time. I bought one maternity sweater because I thought it was too cute to pass up (he was born in May, so I was pg through the winter), but I think I only wore it a couple of times because I was always too warm for it.
This time, I'm actually cold sometimes. I've been wearing socks at home all the time because my feet feel chilly. It's particularly strange because since having my boys, I've felt like my body stayed hotter, even once my pregnancies were over. I have this stack of old sweaters I used to wear to work in the winter and I haven't touched them - and not because I don't have to dress up for work now, but because I couldn't fathom wearing a sweater without dying of heat stroke! But here I am, pregnant and expecting to feel warmer still, and I'm curling up in blankets on the couch and wearing socks with slippers over the top! It isn't as if the temperature in my house has changed - for whatever reason, I'm just feeling cooler this time.
Other than that, I can't point to anything that is starkly new or different with this pregnancy, at least at this point. My first two pregnancies felt like polar opposites (which is ironic, because my boys personalities are completely opposite). If I had a symptom with D, I probably didn't with G; if I didn't have a symptom with D, I probably did with G. Not entirely true, but in many ways that's how it felt. I was totally convinced I was not pregnant with G because I figured I'd feel the same way I felt in early pregnancy the first time - and I sure didn't. But this time, some of it is familiar, some not as much (like being cold), but it doesn't feel so dramatically different from my other two experiences.
I had a doctor appointment this morning (I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow) and so far all is well. My blood pressure was almost low (but still fine), our results from the quad screen came back normal, baby's heart rate was 154. I also haven't gained too much weight at this point, which is nice. I'm up 10lbs or so, which is great for this point in my pregnancy. I think I gained more than that during the first 12 weeks with both my previous pregnancies, so I hope that's a good sign. I'd love to gain a more reasonable amount of weight this time around. But I am proud to say I haven't been stressing about it - just trying to keep from overeating. I've realized that I don't have to eat every single time I get a little hungry - it's ok to be a bit hungry between meals/snacks because I know I'll eat again soon and I know I'm eating plenty.
In any case, so far so good, and that makes me happy!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Freaky
There is a person growing inside me right this second. That still freaks me out.
I'm a bit over 16 weeks... noticing occassional pokes from the stinker, feeling good overall, getting bigger everyday with tons of time left to grow. Time is flying by; March is almost over already and it seems as if it just began. If it's possible, I think this pregnancy is going by faster than my last one did, and that one seemed to fly. In some ways it feels as if September is a long way off, but in other ways I feel like I can't believe I'm closing in on 17 weeks in a few days.
Its kind of freaking me out.
I'm a bit over 16 weeks... noticing occassional pokes from the stinker, feeling good overall, getting bigger everyday with tons of time left to grow. Time is flying by; March is almost over already and it seems as if it just began. If it's possible, I think this pregnancy is going by faster than my last one did, and that one seemed to fly. In some ways it feels as if September is a long way off, but in other ways I feel like I can't believe I'm closing in on 17 weeks in a few days.
Its kind of freaking me out.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Maternity swimsuits
Why is it that so many maternity clothes manufacturers seem to forget the fact that the belly is not the only thing that grows during pregnancy? And that us busty women might want to wear clothes that fit too?
Maternity swimsuits are the WORST.
I have a maternity swimsuit that I bought last time I was pregnant. I suffered with it because I'd bought it and couldn't justify buying another one. Why I didn't send it back the instant I tried it on, I have no idea - maybe I figured it wasn't that bad or I could make it work and didn't want the hassle of returning something I'd bought online. Whatever my reasoning at the time, I have a swimsuit from Old Navy that absolutely does not fit my chest - AT ALL. I don't think this thing would fit anyone with a cup size larger than a B. And believe me, I'm nowhere near a B. Finding a good fit is tough because I'm not big all over, but I have big boobs and when I'm pregnant I have really big boobs. So this halter thingy is a disaster. It's a tankini, and the bottoms fit fine, but the top has this seam that is supposed to go under the bust line. Laughable. If I put it on the way it is intended to be worn my boobs fall out of it as soon as I move a little. Obviously not great for taking the kids to swim lessons at the YMCA.
I love to swim and I really love to swim when I'm pregnant, so I definitely need a swimsuit. Today I tried on the crazy small-boobed halter thing and it was worse than I remembered. When I was pregnant with G, I wore it, but pulled it up so it covered better. But it was so uncomfortable I often wore a bra underneath just so I didn't feel like I was going to fall completely out of the thing - and that's attractive. And when you're underwater it tends to float up (or did until my belly was really big) so I always felt like it was floating up around my neck and my boobs were hanging out the bottom.
So now I'm on a quest to find a decent fitting maternity swimsuit to get me through this pregnancy. Quest is really an appropriate term, because this ain't easy.
There are tons of suits out there, but many (most?) of them are ridiculously expensive. I've looked at some really cute suits online, but there's no way I'm paying over $100 for a swimsuit that I'm going to wear this year, and this year only. If I was pregnant for the first time and knew I'd be having a couple more kids after this, it might make sense to invest in a high quality swimsuit. But I wasn't a swimmer when I was pregnant the first time, so I didn't get a suit. And the second time I cheaped out with the Old Navy one and should have at least found one that fit better, even if I didn't spend more money. So here I am.
And judging from the pictures online, fit is going to be a problem. I can see how women with small boobs would be loving their newfound voluptuousness and be happy to show it off a little. But showing off a nice chest and flashing the world enough boob to make Jennifer Lopez blush are two different things. So many of the swimsuits I've seen are similar to the one I have - a halter top that ties in the back, has no support whatsoever and doesn't have enough fabric in the front to cover one of my boobs, let alone both of them.
And you'd think more maternity stores might actually carry one or two swimsuits in stock, even though it isn't summer, right? I mean, we have indoor pools and I certainly see plenty of pregnant women at the Y who bring their kids to swim lessons. That can happen in winter, right? But I haven't seen any in stores. Granted, I live in smaller community so the shopping options are limited, and I do need to call a couple stores that aren't too far but farther than I'd want to go without knowing if they have anything... but the point is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to buy online and given my experience with that last time, I really want to be able to try these things on.
Dressing yourself when you're pregnant can be frustrating in general and I hate every dollar I have to spend on maternity clothes, since I know how temporary this is and I know I'm not planning to do it again. I don't want to invest much in clothes I'm going to be out of come fall. But I also have to wear something every day, and I know I need a new swimsuit. I want to get back in the pool for some laps, I want to be able to take G to swimming if it works with our schedule, and we're going on vacation this summer where it will be warm. I just wish I could find one that wasn't ugly (although color and pattern at this point are secondary concerns), didn't cost a fortune, and miracle of miracles, actually fits my chest.
Is that really too much to ask?
Maternity swimsuits are the WORST.
I have a maternity swimsuit that I bought last time I was pregnant. I suffered with it because I'd bought it and couldn't justify buying another one. Why I didn't send it back the instant I tried it on, I have no idea - maybe I figured it wasn't that bad or I could make it work and didn't want the hassle of returning something I'd bought online. Whatever my reasoning at the time, I have a swimsuit from Old Navy that absolutely does not fit my chest - AT ALL. I don't think this thing would fit anyone with a cup size larger than a B. And believe me, I'm nowhere near a B. Finding a good fit is tough because I'm not big all over, but I have big boobs and when I'm pregnant I have really big boobs. So this halter thingy is a disaster. It's a tankini, and the bottoms fit fine, but the top has this seam that is supposed to go under the bust line. Laughable. If I put it on the way it is intended to be worn my boobs fall out of it as soon as I move a little. Obviously not great for taking the kids to swim lessons at the YMCA.
I love to swim and I really love to swim when I'm pregnant, so I definitely need a swimsuit. Today I tried on the crazy small-boobed halter thing and it was worse than I remembered. When I was pregnant with G, I wore it, but pulled it up so it covered better. But it was so uncomfortable I often wore a bra underneath just so I didn't feel like I was going to fall completely out of the thing - and that's attractive. And when you're underwater it tends to float up (or did until my belly was really big) so I always felt like it was floating up around my neck and my boobs were hanging out the bottom.
So now I'm on a quest to find a decent fitting maternity swimsuit to get me through this pregnancy. Quest is really an appropriate term, because this ain't easy.
There are tons of suits out there, but many (most?) of them are ridiculously expensive. I've looked at some really cute suits online, but there's no way I'm paying over $100 for a swimsuit that I'm going to wear this year, and this year only. If I was pregnant for the first time and knew I'd be having a couple more kids after this, it might make sense to invest in a high quality swimsuit. But I wasn't a swimmer when I was pregnant the first time, so I didn't get a suit. And the second time I cheaped out with the Old Navy one and should have at least found one that fit better, even if I didn't spend more money. So here I am.
And judging from the pictures online, fit is going to be a problem. I can see how women with small boobs would be loving their newfound voluptuousness and be happy to show it off a little. But showing off a nice chest and flashing the world enough boob to make Jennifer Lopez blush are two different things. So many of the swimsuits I've seen are similar to the one I have - a halter top that ties in the back, has no support whatsoever and doesn't have enough fabric in the front to cover one of my boobs, let alone both of them.
And you'd think more maternity stores might actually carry one or two swimsuits in stock, even though it isn't summer, right? I mean, we have indoor pools and I certainly see plenty of pregnant women at the Y who bring their kids to swim lessons. That can happen in winter, right? But I haven't seen any in stores. Granted, I live in smaller community so the shopping options are limited, and I do need to call a couple stores that aren't too far but farther than I'd want to go without knowing if they have anything... but the point is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to buy online and given my experience with that last time, I really want to be able to try these things on.
Dressing yourself when you're pregnant can be frustrating in general and I hate every dollar I have to spend on maternity clothes, since I know how temporary this is and I know I'm not planning to do it again. I don't want to invest much in clothes I'm going to be out of come fall. But I also have to wear something every day, and I know I need a new swimsuit. I want to get back in the pool for some laps, I want to be able to take G to swimming if it works with our schedule, and we're going on vacation this summer where it will be warm. I just wish I could find one that wasn't ugly (although color and pattern at this point are secondary concerns), didn't cost a fortune, and miracle of miracles, actually fits my chest.
Is that really too much to ask?
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