My father in law is a great guy. He loves my husband, loves his grandkids and is generally a fun dude to be around. He's a bit... how to say it... simple? He's been a fisherman most of his life and grew up in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. He barely knows how to use his cell phone. It isn't that he's dumb, he just lives a different life than a lot of us in modern day society. And he's happy as a clam about it.
He's also one of the worst gift givers ever. He means well, but he's just bad at picking out gifts. He came up today and for some reason decided to stop at WalMart on the way (he lives about 2 hours from us). First of all, he showed up at our house a good two hours after calling me to ask for directions off the freeway, since he came from a different direction (when he should have been about 10 minutes from our house). What he was doing that whole time, I don't know, other than shopping at WalMart. Unfortunately, my kids go to bed early, so he missed G by almost an hour and even though D went to bed late, he didn't see him much either.
But the gifts were the best. He bought D and G a Valentine's Day card, which was really sweet. He also got them each a little outfit; D's has a bulldozer on it, so it's immediately a winner. So those were good. But he also bought them both a box of chocolates - fine for D, but G... well, I just had to laugh at him buying an 8 month old a heart shaped box of chocolates. G gags on fruit puffs; even if I was willing to let him have that kind of stuff at this age, he'd never be able to handle it. It just made me laugh though, because my FIL simply doesn't know that kind of stuff. He'd be feeding G popcorn and peanuts if left to his own devices.
He also bought me something - and don't get me wrong here, I absolutely appreciate the thought. First was a bottle of wine. Where he got the idea that I'm a wine drinker, I don't know. I like a glass occassionally, but I almost never buy it. My husband rarely drinks and doesn't like wine and I could never get through a bottle fast enough to make it worth buying. Plus, I'm breastfeeding. Here, have a drink - maybe G will sleep through the night with some wine laced breastmilk!
But the kicker was the shirt he bought me with a great big sticker on the front that says, "Instantly Slims You!"
(insert bag over head here)
It was SO awkward! It wasn't like there was a blurb on the tag or something you'd have to search for to see. It was this huge, yellow sticker and everyone else saw it as he handed it to me. OMG.
I know he means well, and maybe he didn't even notice the sticker, just thought I'd like a nice shirt. And if he did notice it, I'm sure he figured, hey, she had a baby recently, she might like to look skinnier. It's the kind of logic he's famous for.
Sheesh.
This is, of course, my father in law who told me when I started gaining weight in my late teens (I was dating my husband then), that it was nice to see me "filling out". But he did make up for it when I was pregnant with G; he kept exclaiming every time he saw me that I looked so skinny, despite the huge pregnant belly.
The man is honestly quite tactless, but in such a clueless way, it's hard to fault him for it. And hey, at least I get to eat G's chocolates... although maybe I shouldn't, if I need an "instantly skinnier" shirt from WalMart. What's a girl to do.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Sleep, anyone?
I'm craving a good night's sleep like nobody's business. I'm so done with feeling tired all day long, of wanting to curl up in a ball on the playroom floor while the boys play around me. Yes, this is whiney. Sorry. But I have 8 1/2 long months of sleep deprivation, culminating in the last few weeks which have been rotten.
With both boys sick for over two weeks straight (not to mention myself and my husband), sleep has been in short order, at least for me. I find it ironic (although lucky) that whatever virus ripped through our household, I got the mildest dose of it and fought it off the quickest. Considering the amount of sleep I get on a regular basis, and how much less I've been getting since everyone got sick, I'm surprised I got better at all. Glad, just surprised.
In any case, neither of my boys have been sleeping well. D has always been very sensitive to his sleep schedule being messed up, especially over longer periods of time. He's more flexible now that he's a little older, but we still have to be careful. I wish I could figure out why, and what to do about it, but lately he's taken to waking up at night several times a week at least. He used to NEVER do that. I think I said that to people one too many times and now he's making me eat my words. Last night he woke up several times prior to midnight; I don't think he slept more than an hour total from bedtime until about then. Today he looked like a drug addict coming off a four day drug binge. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but he had these sad little red circles under his eyes. I felt awful for him. His behavior was atrocious, but it wasn't bratty, tantrumy stuff; he was just damn tired. It was one of those days when I really hate that he doesn't nap anymore; a good two hour snooze this afternoon would have done him a world of good. I laid down with him for a while during G's nap, but there was no way it was happening. Twenty seconds after my head hit his pillow, I was drifting off, but he kept asking me if it was morning or time to get up. Eventually I gave up and reconciled myself to our normal quiet time.
G's sleep has been similarly atrocious, only more detrimental to me, since my husband is in charge of D when he wakes up at night (although I still wake up, since somehow my husband is deaf when he sleeps and doesn't hear anything over either baby monitor). It culminated in horribleness when I spent several nights holding him in the rocking chair for most of the night. I even resorted to throwing an air mattress on his floor and laid down with him there in a somewhat desperate attempt to get some sleep myself. You gotta do what you gotta do when they're sick.
Now, he's not sick. He's all better, has been for a few days, and it's time to get this sleep thing back under control. And in my house, that does mean some crying.
I hate talking about "CIO". I hate that it can be such a divisive issue amongst moms; that there's this judgemental aspect to it, like if you aren't in my camp, you must think I'm awful. The way I see it, we all do what we think is best not only for our child, but for our whole family. There are other ways of handling sleep problems, and for some people, those work great. In my house, the dreaded CIO technique is what we use, and it's always worked well.
I say dreaded, because I do dread it. I hate every second of crying that both of my boys have done in the name of a better night sleep. D was worse than G has been; he's got a stubborn streak that blows me away, so looking back I shouldn't be surprised he would be tough to "sleep train." G is more mellow, but there has still been some crying on occassion when we've deemed it necessary.
The last couple of days it has been necessary. The night I spent trying to sleep in G's room on an air mattress made one thing abundantly clear - I wasn't doing either of us any favors by holding him all night. He didn't sleep much better in my arms than he had been in his crib and he was miserable for lack of sleep.
So what does this have to do with me being tired? It just seems that there's always something preventing me from getting a halfway decent night sleep. Last night and tonight I attempted to go to bed early, only to have G wake up after only a few hours. My husband and I decided to go the CIO route, so I have to wait for him to fall asleep again before going to bed myself. So much for going to bed early. And last night, despite crying for a while and going back to sleep, he still was up several times.
I'm not asking for him to sleep 12 hours without needing to nurse. Yes, that's the goal and I hope I'm not more than a few months away from that. But he's going on 9 months old, so it seems like he should be able to sleep, I don't know, 6 or more hours without waking? Looking back 6 months ago, when he was between 2-3 months old, he started sleeping anywhere from 7-9 hours for his first stretch. Somehow over time that has turned into 4 hours, if I'm lucky.
Here I am, sitting up and hoping he's gone back to sleep (I think so). But I also don't know what the rest of the night will bring. For all I know, he'll be awake again in an hour. Or he might actually fulfill my current wild fantasy and sleep until one or two.
It just seems that there's always something. Either G wakes up too many times a night, or wakes super early and it takes forever to get him back to sleep. Or, my favorite, I get G back down in the early morning hours only to come out of his room and hear D awake, whining for me to come get him. So often I'm awake at 5 or earlier and never get the chance to go back to sleep.
I know, I know - life with a baby. It won't last forever; hopefully it won't last too much longer. Men fantasize about sex; I fantasize about sleep.
Speaking of, all seems quiet, so I'm going to attempt to get some.
With both boys sick for over two weeks straight (not to mention myself and my husband), sleep has been in short order, at least for me. I find it ironic (although lucky) that whatever virus ripped through our household, I got the mildest dose of it and fought it off the quickest. Considering the amount of sleep I get on a regular basis, and how much less I've been getting since everyone got sick, I'm surprised I got better at all. Glad, just surprised.
In any case, neither of my boys have been sleeping well. D has always been very sensitive to his sleep schedule being messed up, especially over longer periods of time. He's more flexible now that he's a little older, but we still have to be careful. I wish I could figure out why, and what to do about it, but lately he's taken to waking up at night several times a week at least. He used to NEVER do that. I think I said that to people one too many times and now he's making me eat my words. Last night he woke up several times prior to midnight; I don't think he slept more than an hour total from bedtime until about then. Today he looked like a drug addict coming off a four day drug binge. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but he had these sad little red circles under his eyes. I felt awful for him. His behavior was atrocious, but it wasn't bratty, tantrumy stuff; he was just damn tired. It was one of those days when I really hate that he doesn't nap anymore; a good two hour snooze this afternoon would have done him a world of good. I laid down with him for a while during G's nap, but there was no way it was happening. Twenty seconds after my head hit his pillow, I was drifting off, but he kept asking me if it was morning or time to get up. Eventually I gave up and reconciled myself to our normal quiet time.
G's sleep has been similarly atrocious, only more detrimental to me, since my husband is in charge of D when he wakes up at night (although I still wake up, since somehow my husband is deaf when he sleeps and doesn't hear anything over either baby monitor). It culminated in horribleness when I spent several nights holding him in the rocking chair for most of the night. I even resorted to throwing an air mattress on his floor and laid down with him there in a somewhat desperate attempt to get some sleep myself. You gotta do what you gotta do when they're sick.
Now, he's not sick. He's all better, has been for a few days, and it's time to get this sleep thing back under control. And in my house, that does mean some crying.
I hate talking about "CIO". I hate that it can be such a divisive issue amongst moms; that there's this judgemental aspect to it, like if you aren't in my camp, you must think I'm awful. The way I see it, we all do what we think is best not only for our child, but for our whole family. There are other ways of handling sleep problems, and for some people, those work great. In my house, the dreaded CIO technique is what we use, and it's always worked well.
I say dreaded, because I do dread it. I hate every second of crying that both of my boys have done in the name of a better night sleep. D was worse than G has been; he's got a stubborn streak that blows me away, so looking back I shouldn't be surprised he would be tough to "sleep train." G is more mellow, but there has still been some crying on occassion when we've deemed it necessary.
The last couple of days it has been necessary. The night I spent trying to sleep in G's room on an air mattress made one thing abundantly clear - I wasn't doing either of us any favors by holding him all night. He didn't sleep much better in my arms than he had been in his crib and he was miserable for lack of sleep.
So what does this have to do with me being tired? It just seems that there's always something preventing me from getting a halfway decent night sleep. Last night and tonight I attempted to go to bed early, only to have G wake up after only a few hours. My husband and I decided to go the CIO route, so I have to wait for him to fall asleep again before going to bed myself. So much for going to bed early. And last night, despite crying for a while and going back to sleep, he still was up several times.
I'm not asking for him to sleep 12 hours without needing to nurse. Yes, that's the goal and I hope I'm not more than a few months away from that. But he's going on 9 months old, so it seems like he should be able to sleep, I don't know, 6 or more hours without waking? Looking back 6 months ago, when he was between 2-3 months old, he started sleeping anywhere from 7-9 hours for his first stretch. Somehow over time that has turned into 4 hours, if I'm lucky.
Here I am, sitting up and hoping he's gone back to sleep (I think so). But I also don't know what the rest of the night will bring. For all I know, he'll be awake again in an hour. Or he might actually fulfill my current wild fantasy and sleep until one or two.
It just seems that there's always something. Either G wakes up too many times a night, or wakes super early and it takes forever to get him back to sleep. Or, my favorite, I get G back down in the early morning hours only to come out of his room and hear D awake, whining for me to come get him. So often I'm awake at 5 or earlier and never get the chance to go back to sleep.
I know, I know - life with a baby. It won't last forever; hopefully it won't last too much longer. Men fantasize about sex; I fantasize about sleep.
Speaking of, all seems quiet, so I'm going to attempt to get some.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sigh of relief
Apparently the title of my previous post needed not include "Day 1", the implication being that there would be a Day 2, or 3 or perhaps 4. Luckily, his nursing strike ended late last night and by bedtime today, he was nursing normally again.
HUGE sigh of relief.
Last night before I went to bed I attempted a "sleepy nursing", hoping that if he were only half conscious, he'd latch on and nurse a bit, and perhaps that could coax him back to the breast. It was a rather miserable failure. I went in and picked him up, simply holding him for a while. As my friend put it, I went "National Geographic Woman", sitting with him topless so he had easier access to my breasts. I held and rocked and tried to entice him to latch. All I succeeded in doing was making him mad. After a while I gave up and tried to put him back down, at which time he decided to wake more fully and cry. He was rather pissed off at having been woken up.
I finally got him back to sleep and a couple of hours later he woke on his own. My husband and I both went in. Hubby held him for a few minutes, then passed him to me for an attempt at nursing. He still resisted, crying and turning away. So my husband held him again, then once he was calm, set him back on my lap. We gave him some sips of water from his sippy cup, talked to him softly and let him grab at the tag on my boppy. Then I laid him down again and he didn't cry; it felt like progress. We rocked for a few minutes and he looked sleepy. Suddenly, he turned toward me and latched on. OMG! My husband slowly and silently backed out of the room. I was afraid to move, fearing any twitch on my part would ruin everything.
He nursed for a while and I got him back to sleep. When he woke again around 4, I had to coax him into nursing, but he eventually did. That time took longer to get him back to sleep; I was up with him for quite a while. But at least he'd nursed.
Today he went from reluctantly nursing after some coaxing, to nursing as normal. By bedtime, he was latching on right away, almost as if yesterday had never happened. Thank you God!
When he nursed for the first time last night, I can't even explain how relieved I was. I was so panicked by the parallels between his behavior and what went on when D stopped nursing. Both had colds that seemed to be getting better. Both nursed normally the day/night before, then suddenly refused. Both nursed ONE time on the day in question. D never did again. So when G nursed again, it was like breaking the cycle. Suddenly, it was different. D hadn't nursed again, here G was nursing. Even if he'd continued to refuse after that, I had hope that the outcome wouldn't be the same. Sure enough, I was right.
Did I need to get so worked up and upset? I guess not. Will I if it happens again? Probably. Who am I kidding, right? As my good friend said to me on the phone last night, it's never just about the nursing. The nutritional benefits, the immunities, those are all good things. But there is something more; something unique and special about the nursing relationship. I'm not knocking moms who choose not to nurse for any reason; I'm just talking about what it means to ME. Nursing is something that means a great deal to me. It's important and more than once I've had to fight for it to work.
I desperately want to nurse G until he's at least (over) a year old. And I'm more than open to continuing as long as it's mutually beneficial. So yesterday when I was faced not only with the difficulties of a baby who won't nurse, but the rather painful memories of when D stopped, it was quite overwhelming. I'm enormously grateful that things turned around today, and I'm not posting "Nursing Strike Day 2". I'm hopeful he'll continue to nurse well and this won't happen again.
I tell you, one thing I have learned as a mother is these little stinkers keep you on your toes! You expect or plan for one thing and they throw something else at you. But what is it they say about how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans...
HUGE sigh of relief.
Last night before I went to bed I attempted a "sleepy nursing", hoping that if he were only half conscious, he'd latch on and nurse a bit, and perhaps that could coax him back to the breast. It was a rather miserable failure. I went in and picked him up, simply holding him for a while. As my friend put it, I went "National Geographic Woman", sitting with him topless so he had easier access to my breasts. I held and rocked and tried to entice him to latch. All I succeeded in doing was making him mad. After a while I gave up and tried to put him back down, at which time he decided to wake more fully and cry. He was rather pissed off at having been woken up.
I finally got him back to sleep and a couple of hours later he woke on his own. My husband and I both went in. Hubby held him for a few minutes, then passed him to me for an attempt at nursing. He still resisted, crying and turning away. So my husband held him again, then once he was calm, set him back on my lap. We gave him some sips of water from his sippy cup, talked to him softly and let him grab at the tag on my boppy. Then I laid him down again and he didn't cry; it felt like progress. We rocked for a few minutes and he looked sleepy. Suddenly, he turned toward me and latched on. OMG! My husband slowly and silently backed out of the room. I was afraid to move, fearing any twitch on my part would ruin everything.
He nursed for a while and I got him back to sleep. When he woke again around 4, I had to coax him into nursing, but he eventually did. That time took longer to get him back to sleep; I was up with him for quite a while. But at least he'd nursed.
Today he went from reluctantly nursing after some coaxing, to nursing as normal. By bedtime, he was latching on right away, almost as if yesterday had never happened. Thank you God!
When he nursed for the first time last night, I can't even explain how relieved I was. I was so panicked by the parallels between his behavior and what went on when D stopped nursing. Both had colds that seemed to be getting better. Both nursed normally the day/night before, then suddenly refused. Both nursed ONE time on the day in question. D never did again. So when G nursed again, it was like breaking the cycle. Suddenly, it was different. D hadn't nursed again, here G was nursing. Even if he'd continued to refuse after that, I had hope that the outcome wouldn't be the same. Sure enough, I was right.
Did I need to get so worked up and upset? I guess not. Will I if it happens again? Probably. Who am I kidding, right? As my good friend said to me on the phone last night, it's never just about the nursing. The nutritional benefits, the immunities, those are all good things. But there is something more; something unique and special about the nursing relationship. I'm not knocking moms who choose not to nurse for any reason; I'm just talking about what it means to ME. Nursing is something that means a great deal to me. It's important and more than once I've had to fight for it to work.
I desperately want to nurse G until he's at least (over) a year old. And I'm more than open to continuing as long as it's mutually beneficial. So yesterday when I was faced not only with the difficulties of a baby who won't nurse, but the rather painful memories of when D stopped, it was quite overwhelming. I'm enormously grateful that things turned around today, and I'm not posting "Nursing Strike Day 2". I'm hopeful he'll continue to nurse well and this won't happen again.
I tell you, one thing I have learned as a mother is these little stinkers keep you on your toes! You expect or plan for one thing and they throw something else at you. But what is it they say about how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans...
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Nursing Strike: Day 1
When D was 10 months old, he went on a nursing strike. Despite the people who have told me, "He probably just didn't need to nurse anymore," I still consider it a nursing strike - although we were never able to recover and it spelled the end of breastfeeding. I've always wondered if I made some mistakes when that happened; that if I'd handled things differently (ie, not given him a bottle right away), he might have gone back to nursing.
Apparently I'm being given another shot.
Not that I wanted one...
G won't nurse. We've all been sick for at least 10 days now. D got it first, then G, then me and my husband. G has had it the worst. A week ago his cough turned to croup and he was utterly miserable. Over the last week he's been doing better, but he's still pretty congested and mucusy. And today, he refused to nurse.
When I got him up this morning he wouldn't nurse and I had a pang of fear; what if it's happening again. I tried not to worry about it, and assumed he was too distracted by his brother. He'd been up twice last night to nurse, and ate fine. I tried again a couple times over the course of the morning, but he wouldn't even attempt to latch. Finally, before his morning nap he did nurse and I was pretty relieved.
But that was just the beginning - and the last time he ate all day. After his nap, he again refused, this time getting upset when I tried to put him to the breast. At that point, I got panicky. I called my husband, who despite his good intentions does not understand in the least why this has me so upset. After talking with him, I made an appointment for G at our pediatrician's office; I wanted to rule out an ear infection or something similar that might be causing him pain and making him reluctant to nurse.
Meanwhile, I had to get him to take another nap, and he still wouldn't nurse. I did get him down, but he had to fuss a while before he'd fall asleep. He didn't sleep long, but we had to go to the doctor anyway. I again tried to nurse - nope.
The doctor concluded we've all probably had RSV this whole time. Lovely. No wonder we can't seem to shake it! G is full of mucus (no kidding) and she said his nursing issues are likely due to all the mucus in his nose and airways; plus he's probably just feeling crappy. Here's where I feel like the WORST mother on the planet because we let him CIO for a while last night. Go ahead, flog me. I deserve it. But the last several nights have been horrid and I was thinking he's probably well enough that he needs to get back on track with his sleeping. Now I feel like he's punishing me for letting him cry.
The doctor gave him a breathing treatment - or rather, had me give him a breathing treatment. You know how fun that is? Try holding a plastic mask over your 21lb 9oz 8 month old's face when he's screaming, thrashing and clawing at it. That was fun. Not to mention, the whole ordeal scared D so bad my husband (thank you God that he was able to be there) had to take him out of the room. He did not like seeing his brother like that.
The breathing treatment apparently helped a bit, although his breathing still sounded just as juicy (for lack of a better word) to me. But his O2 level went up a little (not that it was bad to begin with) and the doctor said he sounded better when she listened to his lungs. So we were sent home with our own nebulizer and instructions to give him 3 breathing treatments per day for the next few days and come back on Friday. As for the nursing, well, she didn't really say much except that he's probably not nursing because he's sick and he's likely to start again once we get a better handle on all the mucus.
Hmm... I guess I should be grateful she didn't tell me to "just give him a bottle". I was sort of expecting that.
Today I've been feverishly reading up on nursing strikes and what to do about them. When my husband came home I gave G his breathing treatment (great, make him associate THAT with me and he'll want to nurse even more... NOT), then took him in the bath with me. I have no idea if that will really help, but the websites all list it among "things to do in the event of a nursing strike" and at this point I'd try to nurse standing on my head if I thought it would help. No luck there, and none at bedtime either. So he's sleeping now after nursing a grand total of ONE time today, when he usually nurses 6 or 7.
I'm trying very hard not to think about how closely this parallels David's nursing strike and the end to our breastfeeding relationship. I'm trying to tell myself that I know more this time and I'm too stubborn to let it get the best of me. I'm desperately hoping that he'll nurse tonight; never before have I wanted him to wake up in the night like this! I'm dreading how the night will go if he still won't nurse, but does wake up.
All in all, I'm hoping against hope that we come out of this in better shape than D and I did when the same thing happened. And I can't frickin believe this is happening to me again. What are the chances BOTH my kids would do this? Unbelievable.
Now I have to go pump.
Apparently I'm being given another shot.
Not that I wanted one...
G won't nurse. We've all been sick for at least 10 days now. D got it first, then G, then me and my husband. G has had it the worst. A week ago his cough turned to croup and he was utterly miserable. Over the last week he's been doing better, but he's still pretty congested and mucusy. And today, he refused to nurse.
When I got him up this morning he wouldn't nurse and I had a pang of fear; what if it's happening again. I tried not to worry about it, and assumed he was too distracted by his brother. He'd been up twice last night to nurse, and ate fine. I tried again a couple times over the course of the morning, but he wouldn't even attempt to latch. Finally, before his morning nap he did nurse and I was pretty relieved.
But that was just the beginning - and the last time he ate all day. After his nap, he again refused, this time getting upset when I tried to put him to the breast. At that point, I got panicky. I called my husband, who despite his good intentions does not understand in the least why this has me so upset. After talking with him, I made an appointment for G at our pediatrician's office; I wanted to rule out an ear infection or something similar that might be causing him pain and making him reluctant to nurse.
Meanwhile, I had to get him to take another nap, and he still wouldn't nurse. I did get him down, but he had to fuss a while before he'd fall asleep. He didn't sleep long, but we had to go to the doctor anyway. I again tried to nurse - nope.
The doctor concluded we've all probably had RSV this whole time. Lovely. No wonder we can't seem to shake it! G is full of mucus (no kidding) and she said his nursing issues are likely due to all the mucus in his nose and airways; plus he's probably just feeling crappy. Here's where I feel like the WORST mother on the planet because we let him CIO for a while last night. Go ahead, flog me. I deserve it. But the last several nights have been horrid and I was thinking he's probably well enough that he needs to get back on track with his sleeping. Now I feel like he's punishing me for letting him cry.
The doctor gave him a breathing treatment - or rather, had me give him a breathing treatment. You know how fun that is? Try holding a plastic mask over your 21lb 9oz 8 month old's face when he's screaming, thrashing and clawing at it. That was fun. Not to mention, the whole ordeal scared D so bad my husband (thank you God that he was able to be there) had to take him out of the room. He did not like seeing his brother like that.
The breathing treatment apparently helped a bit, although his breathing still sounded just as juicy (for lack of a better word) to me. But his O2 level went up a little (not that it was bad to begin with) and the doctor said he sounded better when she listened to his lungs. So we were sent home with our own nebulizer and instructions to give him 3 breathing treatments per day for the next few days and come back on Friday. As for the nursing, well, she didn't really say much except that he's probably not nursing because he's sick and he's likely to start again once we get a better handle on all the mucus.
Hmm... I guess I should be grateful she didn't tell me to "just give him a bottle". I was sort of expecting that.
Today I've been feverishly reading up on nursing strikes and what to do about them. When my husband came home I gave G his breathing treatment (great, make him associate THAT with me and he'll want to nurse even more... NOT), then took him in the bath with me. I have no idea if that will really help, but the websites all list it among "things to do in the event of a nursing strike" and at this point I'd try to nurse standing on my head if I thought it would help. No luck there, and none at bedtime either. So he's sleeping now after nursing a grand total of ONE time today, when he usually nurses 6 or 7.
I'm trying very hard not to think about how closely this parallels David's nursing strike and the end to our breastfeeding relationship. I'm trying to tell myself that I know more this time and I'm too stubborn to let it get the best of me. I'm desperately hoping that he'll nurse tonight; never before have I wanted him to wake up in the night like this! I'm dreading how the night will go if he still won't nurse, but does wake up.
All in all, I'm hoping against hope that we come out of this in better shape than D and I did when the same thing happened. And I can't frickin believe this is happening to me again. What are the chances BOTH my kids would do this? Unbelievable.
Now I have to go pump.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Good husband award
Although I don't think I have yet on this blog, I do tend to complain about my husband occassionally. Today, however, he reminded me why he's such a great guy.
We've all been sick for like, forever. At least it's beginning to seem that way. We have this super mega cold that we can't seem to kick. I'm probably the healthiest out of everyone, but I'm also getting the least amount of sleep, so it sort of evens out. D isn't too bad; he has a cough still, but he acts like he feels fine most of the time. G has had it the worst, and as a result, his sleep is horrible. My husband has been sick too, and I'm sure you can guess who's been the biggest baby in the house...
In any case, last night was awful. G was up more times than I could count, and many times he wouldn't go back to sleep. That's unusal for him; typically if he wakes up, even if he's sick, he goes back to sleep fairly easily. At least, I can usually count on nursing to zonk him out completely, even if he's not hungry; a good comfort nursing session almost always does the trick.
Not last night. I was up and down out of bed so many times, I have no idea how much I actually slept. And the worst part is he's getting better; he's a little stuffed up and he coughs occassionally, but overall he seems a lot better than he was a week ago.
So today I was a complete zombie. All morning I was counting on G taking a morning nap so I could at least lie on the couch and close my eyes while D watched Playhouse Disney. And, you guessed it - G wouldn't nap. Prior to having kids I never would have imagined how much stress naps, or lack of naps, would cause. Often the outcome of my day literally hinges on whether or not a nap happens. It was like that when D was still a napper, and it's like that now with G.
He did finally fall asleep, but a lot later than normal and by that time my window of opportunity for couch vegging was pretty much over. It snowed a bit today and D was clamouring to go outside; he wasn't about to sit and watch yet another TV show. I called my husband in tears, just to hear his voice and hoping he'd tell me everything would be ok; because right about then, I needed to hear it.
Later this afternoon, my husband came home for lunch. He happened to arrive in the midst of D's enormous tantrum (my Dad had been here earlier and D did NOT want him to leave). He took care of calming down the beast while I got G down for his nap. Then he did something that made my week. I wish I could express to him how much this meant to me. He said, "Why don't you go to bed. I'll work from home the rest of the day. Go ahead and go upstairs - I got this."
O. M. G.
Seriously, how many exhausted moms would absolutely die to hear those words. "I got this." You can put down your burden of responsibility for a little while and know that I will be here to take care of it for you. Go, rest, feel better. Let me help you and you do something for yourself.
I love that man.
I took myself upstairs, despite the fact that D was wailing for me, and went to bed. I turned on my fan to drown out any noise, turned off the baby monitor, closed my eyes, and slept. My husband had things under control, and I could relax. That's a pretty powerful thing when you're as sleep deprived as I am.
After a glorious two hour nap, I'm happy to say I felt better, but afraid to say I was still tired. And not in that I just slept too long in the middle of the day so now I'm groggy tired; it was more like I'm so sleep deprived there's no way one nap, even a good one, will catch me up. But still - it was nice, and helped me get through what otherwise was turning out to be a pretty rotten day.
I thanked my husband when I got up from my nap, but I think I'm going to tell him again how much that meant to me. I want him to understand that it was more than just taking the kids for a couple hours so I could rest. It was allowing me to lay aside my Mom outfit for a little while, to hand over the weight of my responsibility for just a little bit, and that means a lot.
Regardless, he's so getting some tonight.
We've all been sick for like, forever. At least it's beginning to seem that way. We have this super mega cold that we can't seem to kick. I'm probably the healthiest out of everyone, but I'm also getting the least amount of sleep, so it sort of evens out. D isn't too bad; he has a cough still, but he acts like he feels fine most of the time. G has had it the worst, and as a result, his sleep is horrible. My husband has been sick too, and I'm sure you can guess who's been the biggest baby in the house...
In any case, last night was awful. G was up more times than I could count, and many times he wouldn't go back to sleep. That's unusal for him; typically if he wakes up, even if he's sick, he goes back to sleep fairly easily. At least, I can usually count on nursing to zonk him out completely, even if he's not hungry; a good comfort nursing session almost always does the trick.
Not last night. I was up and down out of bed so many times, I have no idea how much I actually slept. And the worst part is he's getting better; he's a little stuffed up and he coughs occassionally, but overall he seems a lot better than he was a week ago.
So today I was a complete zombie. All morning I was counting on G taking a morning nap so I could at least lie on the couch and close my eyes while D watched Playhouse Disney. And, you guessed it - G wouldn't nap. Prior to having kids I never would have imagined how much stress naps, or lack of naps, would cause. Often the outcome of my day literally hinges on whether or not a nap happens. It was like that when D was still a napper, and it's like that now with G.
He did finally fall asleep, but a lot later than normal and by that time my window of opportunity for couch vegging was pretty much over. It snowed a bit today and D was clamouring to go outside; he wasn't about to sit and watch yet another TV show. I called my husband in tears, just to hear his voice and hoping he'd tell me everything would be ok; because right about then, I needed to hear it.
Later this afternoon, my husband came home for lunch. He happened to arrive in the midst of D's enormous tantrum (my Dad had been here earlier and D did NOT want him to leave). He took care of calming down the beast while I got G down for his nap. Then he did something that made my week. I wish I could express to him how much this meant to me. He said, "Why don't you go to bed. I'll work from home the rest of the day. Go ahead and go upstairs - I got this."
O. M. G.
Seriously, how many exhausted moms would absolutely die to hear those words. "I got this." You can put down your burden of responsibility for a little while and know that I will be here to take care of it for you. Go, rest, feel better. Let me help you and you do something for yourself.
I love that man.
I took myself upstairs, despite the fact that D was wailing for me, and went to bed. I turned on my fan to drown out any noise, turned off the baby monitor, closed my eyes, and slept. My husband had things under control, and I could relax. That's a pretty powerful thing when you're as sleep deprived as I am.
After a glorious two hour nap, I'm happy to say I felt better, but afraid to say I was still tired. And not in that I just slept too long in the middle of the day so now I'm groggy tired; it was more like I'm so sleep deprived there's no way one nap, even a good one, will catch me up. But still - it was nice, and helped me get through what otherwise was turning out to be a pretty rotten day.
I thanked my husband when I got up from my nap, but I think I'm going to tell him again how much that meant to me. I want him to understand that it was more than just taking the kids for a couple hours so I could rest. It was allowing me to lay aside my Mom outfit for a little while, to hand over the weight of my responsibility for just a little bit, and that means a lot.
Regardless, he's so getting some tonight.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Progress?
I think it is safe to say we've made some poop progress!
(Only moms get so excited about poop. Well, maybe dog owners do too, especially if they've trained their dog to go in one spot in the yard...)
For the last three days, D has pooped on the potty more or less willingly. [Insert huge sigh of relief here.] I'm hoping we've turned the corner and his poop holding days are coming rapidly to an end. Thank you Dr. H and thank you miralax! I know there's always the possibility of regression in potty training, but so far we've been full steam ahead. He's totally and completely out of diapers and I can't remember the last time he had an accident. And now if the poop holding drama is over, we might just be home free.
Now if someone could get him to stop yelling, "YES IT IS!" at me when I tell him no to something, that would be great. Thanks.
(Only moms get so excited about poop. Well, maybe dog owners do too, especially if they've trained their dog to go in one spot in the yard...)
For the last three days, D has pooped on the potty more or less willingly. [Insert huge sigh of relief here.] I'm hoping we've turned the corner and his poop holding days are coming rapidly to an end. Thank you Dr. H and thank you miralax! I know there's always the possibility of regression in potty training, but so far we've been full steam ahead. He's totally and completely out of diapers and I can't remember the last time he had an accident. And now if the poop holding drama is over, we might just be home free.
Now if someone could get him to stop yelling, "YES IT IS!" at me when I tell him no to something, that would be great. Thanks.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Dear HR Director,
Dear HR Director,
It has come to my attention that when I began employment approximately three years ago, I was not given an employee handbook. There are now certain policies and procedures for which I have questions that I expect the handbook would explain, but I cannot find a copy. I've been told by certain other coworkers that such a handbook does not actually exist; however, I deemed it prudent to inquire as I assume that there must be such a document.
The issue in question at the present time is my allotment of sick time and the procedure for taking sick days. I realize that this job does not include weekends or holidays off, nor nights and evenings for that matter. I also realize that vacation time is only allowed when grandparents or other suitable individuals can be found to fill in. But, in the event of illness, I had thought (or perhaps hoped) that there was a procedure for calling in sick.
Apparently I am mistaken?
It would be helpful if someone would let me know who to call in the event of an illness so I might have the opportunity for a break. I believe that a day or two off would in fact increase my productivity, allowing me to get over any illness more quickly, thus returning to my duties faster and in better spirits. As it is, I am forced to continue working through my illness and my immune system is weakened by lack of sleep, as well as the increased demands of my subordinates, who are also ill.
Your prompt attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated. In the meantime, I believe we are out of kleenex.
Regards,
Mommy
It has come to my attention that when I began employment approximately three years ago, I was not given an employee handbook. There are now certain policies and procedures for which I have questions that I expect the handbook would explain, but I cannot find a copy. I've been told by certain other coworkers that such a handbook does not actually exist; however, I deemed it prudent to inquire as I assume that there must be such a document.
The issue in question at the present time is my allotment of sick time and the procedure for taking sick days. I realize that this job does not include weekends or holidays off, nor nights and evenings for that matter. I also realize that vacation time is only allowed when grandparents or other suitable individuals can be found to fill in. But, in the event of illness, I had thought (or perhaps hoped) that there was a procedure for calling in sick.
Apparently I am mistaken?
It would be helpful if someone would let me know who to call in the event of an illness so I might have the opportunity for a break. I believe that a day or two off would in fact increase my productivity, allowing me to get over any illness more quickly, thus returning to my duties faster and in better spirits. As it is, I am forced to continue working through my illness and my immune system is weakened by lack of sleep, as well as the increased demands of my subordinates, who are also ill.
Your prompt attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated. In the meantime, I believe we are out of kleenex.
Regards,
Mommy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)